Monday, January 19, 2009

Just another manic Monday ... where did that come from? lol

I had such a great weekend, Herb came to spend the evening with me on Friday, Saturday I worked at 7am and even though it was crazy making busy I still had a great time, I love my job! Sunday seen me not wanting to go to my meeting, yet I went just the same, I was having a very selfish moment. I was only thinking of myself, my homework, and my shopping that needed to get done, yet at the last minute I remembered that this is not all about me.

Sometimes we all have something to say in life that just might affect another individual, sharing is one very important aspect of my recovery and it's not what I do only for myself, it's in giving back that I feel much better with who I am, what I represent and it helps me to be the person that I've always strived to be within my life.

I was chatting with a fellow student the other day at school, she is 40 years old, in my age bracket sort of! I made a comment that really lightened her mood, I told her that I love being the age that I am today, I have new freedoms within my life and one of the best places to be within my life is that I now have 'life experience' which gives me 'wisdom' yet I can choose to use this wisdom or just to ignore it and do the irresponsible thing and get away with it! :-) This is what life is.. choices and for me it's how I go about making the choices that I do in my life that is making an immense difference!

Right now I am choosing to sit here and write while I have a ton of work to get after, I think about three chapters to read, it could be more I'm not sure, and I want to make my own notes on all that I read. I am choosing to procrastinate for a bit, post my Project 365 and say whatever it is that I choose to say. My writing is so restricted these days, all I do mostly is write for school, some topics I love to write on whereas others I write just to put out there whatever it is that the instructors are looking for.

What we are looking for in life, now there's an interesting topic to write on! Today I am looking for and have found peace and serenity, I was seeking love and approval and today I have this within my life as well. I am so shocked that me and Herb are back together and I love him more today than I ever have. Life is funny, we never know what is just around the corner and I guess it's true what is said, when a person stops looking for something it just happens.

I now see that I remained single for the better part of this past three years, I believe that God had better plans for me in my life than I might have chosen! It works this way, I turn my will over to the loving care of God and my life runs so smoothly, I know when I've taken my will back through.... rocky roads lie before me. Today I am choosing to try to turn my will over to God, then I will see what happens next, to date God has not let me down, it was me who let God down with my poor choices.

So just for today, I will not pick up another drink, I will get after my homework while I have peace and quiet in my house and I will have an excellent day, one that is a gift directly from God himself.

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